Some things are just not as important. There, I said it!

No matter how ‘life or death’ you think something is, there is a good chance someone else would never give it a second thought.

I once worked in the creative department for a retailer where each week we would fight over which products deserved to be on the cover of our Sunday circular—the holy grail of retail foot traffic generation back in the mid 90’s. People would go crazy, yelling and arguing over which product should be featured. It made my anxiety go through the roof each week.

Then one night while I was at my friend’s house, I happened to walk past his bathroom and sticking out from under his cat litter box, lying on the floor covered in pee and litter, was one of our Sunday flyers. After that, each time I felt myself getting all worked up over a buyer trying to tell me how I needed to use red instead of blue for his headline, I just pictured that flyer covered in kitty litter and smiled.

Sometimes, the things we get so worked up about are only important because in that moment we want to be right, we want to be heard, and we want to feel like we matter. We don’t want to be dismissed or brushed aside. We don’t want our opinions to be marked down like some closeout coffeemaker or discarded like some worthless gadget that was cool for 5 minutes and then ends up at the bottom of the kitchen junk drawer.

Our insecurity begs for us to find value in our self through having others validate us. It’s why we fight over things online and why we dig in and refuse to back down for no other reason that we want—no, we need to be right.

So here’s how I judge if something is worth taking a stand over in life. I ask myself… when I’m on my deathbed, surrounded by my loved ones and my best days are behind me, will this thing I’m getting all worked up over now hold any importance to me then?

If it will, then fight. Fight with all you have. Things that question your values, your integrity, who you are as a person—things that define your legacy are worth fighting for. But most of the things we get upset over each day are not those things. Someone cutting you off so they can get one car ahead of you in the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru is not a legacy-building moment. If you want to be happy—learn to let that shit go!